Espresso Yourself: A Personality Profile

espresso

espresso

Are you a dependable Cappuccino or an ambitious Caffè Medici?

~~Your birth date will reveal the answer.~~

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Due to the wild popularity of my cupcake and genre personality profiles, I’ve developed a new profile to let you know what type of espresso beverage you are. (Okay, I made up the wildly popular part, but I’m trying to give this a little hype.)

Please note that this is my interpretation of the zodiac and the personality behind the espressos. My disclaimer is as follows: this is for entertainment purposes only.

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December 23 – January 20: Café au Lait

espresso and steamed milk (1:1)
good and strong, well grounded, comfortable in any social situation

January 21 – February 19: Caffé Latte

espresso and steamed milk (1:3 to 1:5) with foam on top
highly sociable, never boring, loves to re-invent themselves by adding pumpkin spice, peppermint, cinnamon, or any other flavored syrup

February 20 – March 20: Café Cubano

espresso shot sweetened with demerara sugar as it is brewed, topped with a thick layer of sweet crema
sweetheart, adaptable and compassionate—welcome at all social gatherings

March 21 – April 20: Black Eye

drip coffee with a double shot of espresso
strong and independent, optimistic, full of energy

April 21 – May 21: Flat White

caffè latte except the texture of the milk (prepared differently) is velvety, espresso is the dominate flavor
loyal brew that will never let you down, patient, generous

May 22 – June 21: Black Tie

Thai iced tea with a double shot of espresso
imaginative profile, energetic, adaptable

June 22 – July 22: Cappuccino

espresso, hot milk, and foam (1:1:1)
dependable go-to brew, caring, adaptable

July 23 – August 21: Caffè Medici

doppio (a type of double shot) poured over chocolate syrup and orange peel, topped with whipped cream
ambitious, very generous, loaded with confidence

August 22 – September 23: Caffé Mocha

caffè latte with chocolate
reliable, helpful, perfectly blended

September 24 – October 23: Latte Macchiato

caffè latte, except the espresso is added to milk (rather than milk to espresso), has less espresso, more foam, and served layered
diplomatic in presentation, graceful, idealistic

October 24 – November 22: Vienna Coffee

two shots of espresso infused with whipped cream (as a replacement for milk and sugar)
passionate, dynamic, silky smooth

November 23 – December 22: Palazzo

iced coffee made with two shots of espresso, immediately chilled and mixed with sweetened cream
adventurous, fun-loving, dares to be different

And there you have it!

Coffee lovers have you tried all these types of beverages?

image courtesy of Wikimedia.org
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39 Comments

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  1. I’m in trouble then – I don’t like coffee.

    1. Trust me a lot of people do, so they like whatever coffee you are! 🙂

  2. Very clever … but mine doesn’t match me. I wish I was like that!

    1. 🙁 Maybe you were born on a cusp, so you have traits of the next (or previous) sign, I mean coffee.

  3. Vienna Coffee! Now in the real world, I’m off to refill my mug with dark roast Community Coffee 🙂

    Have a great week!

    1. I’ve actually tried that coffee before – sooo good, but you couldn’t have one everyday.

  4. I would love the Caffé Latte, but as a vegan I can’t have the steamed milk.

    1. We can make it with soy- the good soy milk though not that weird stuff (I’m sure you know the brand I speak of).

      1. What brand is the weird brand? Is there a reason you can’t write the brand name?

        1. I don’t want to make anyone made at me if they love the brand.

          1. Mad at you? You’re joking.

  5. Woohoo! I’m a Black Eye!

    I love this. 🙂 Though I don’t drink coffee myself, my main character in Thanmir War is a big coffee drinker and compares other characters to different coffee drinks.

    This was fun, and I’d like to think mine is true.

  6. Well, I don’t see why this couldn’t become wildly popular, right? 🙂 I am not a coffee drinker (although I love the aroma) but I do like a sip or two of my husband’s cappuccino. And since my birthday is in July, I guess it fits!

  7. I’m more tea than coffee since I never drink the later one 🙂

  8. I’m a Caffe Latte and I buy that. Love them and that addition of flavored syrups fits me for sure as I like variety. Of course like astrology columns any of these fit me pretty well. I’ll drink ’em all, be ’em all, and I like all of them. Call me a conflicted personality I guess.

    Lee

    1. 🙂 I’d give ’em all a try too.

  9. I love the smell of coffee, but I don’t drink it. Sometimes I wish I did chasing after a small child all day!

  10. Palazzo sounds fantastic and I would drink it all the time were it not for the fact coffee sends me a little crazy….. 0_o But I’ll gladly take one and inhale its scent and dream of a day in whichI can handle coffee.

    1. I hadn’t heard of a Palazzo before writing this, but I would try one. It sounds so good. Coffee does smell so good. Maybe try decaf? I think they even have def espresso.

  11. Caffe latte is spot on for me. I love me some pumpkin spice…

  12. Cappuccino eh? I’d like to think I’m a little sweeter than that… But I AM nice and strong…

    1. Ah the nice thing about coffee is you can keep adding sugar. 😉

  13. I’m Caffe Mocha, one of my favs! Coffee is my form of crack, & I love all kinds, but I haven’t tried all of those. Thanks for the fun today 🙂

    1. Your comment gave me a good laugh!

  14. Oh snap! I’ve never had coffee… I do love the smell though… and all that frothy latte goodness does look tempting sometimes, LOL… This was fun! 🙂

  15. Not sure if the coffee fits, but doppio sure sounds good. I’ll have to try it. 😉

    Fun post!

  16. I’m an ice tea, and I don’t even like ice tea. I wish I were a caffè latte 🙂

    1. Oh, the Black Tie? (Thai tea with espresso) I’ve not had that drink, but I have had Thai iced tea. It is no ordinary iced tea. It’s a spiced black tea, brewed then sweetened with sugar and condensed milk.

  17. Woo-hoo! I’m a delicious, perfectly blended caffe mocha! 😀

  18. But none of them included cheese… 😉 I’m not a coffee drinker, so this all pretty much went right over my head, but if you converted it to flavors of chocolate or types of cheese, I’m totally there.

  19. I’m what I thought I’d be… cappuccino. Spot on.

  20. I don’t like coffee either, but I think your assessment of the type of coffee that personifies me is correct!

  21. Palazzo sounds good. I like iced coffee.

  22. I was a cafe medici…I can only hope I’m all that!

  23. Wow — mine’s spot on. Too bad I don’t like to drink coffee. I’m a chai guy.

  24. I fall under café au lait, which coincidentally enough is the only coffee I ever drink, and I only drink it at Cafe du Monde in New Orleans with beignets. In other words, I don’t drink coffee. The first two points fit me, but the third should say UNcomfortable in any social situation. 🙂

  25. This is fun. I was born October 9 and I always drink flat white. It is amazing how many types of coffee there are to order. Those poor baristas!

  26. Hi, Holly…

    My coffee fits me to a T…. I love flat white Lattes and drink them often!

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